at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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