I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I believe in your delicious
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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