you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
