Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Its about making memories worth repressing
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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