Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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