Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
