How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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