Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
