i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
