I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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