i think i have two assholes
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
