I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
