Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
