dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize