some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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