i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
your like the ambassador to my penis.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
