i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
