I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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