I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
