i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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