first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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