everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
