We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
two words: eviction party
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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