Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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