Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
