tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
