Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Randomize
