Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
