I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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