What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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