Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
