I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
