Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My liver just had a heart attack.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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