The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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