I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
