Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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