I'm drive I can fine osifer
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
