first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Randomize
