I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
