This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
