Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
