I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
