i was born a porn star she said
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
