You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Randomize
