He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
