wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
