at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
