Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
