You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
