went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
