ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize