fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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