i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
