i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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