Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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