Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
