i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
