i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize