in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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