you would pick up someone in the library
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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