Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
